Tom Finally Sets The Record Straight

I gotta say, I get real sick and tired of everyone taking shots at Tom Cruise. Every week it's something. People say, "Oh, he's batshit crazy" and "Oh, he turned Katie Holmes into a lobotomized robot" and "Oh, he literally sucked his way to the top early in his acting career." And I just get sick of it, I really do. I mean, we're talking about "Maverick" here, for Christ's sake.

I mean, look -- Tom is one hell of a guy. We all remember Oprah's couch, right? Well, I, for one, thought that was really romantic, jumping up and down like that. Insanely laughing in front of 7 million housewives like that. Then again, I also thought 'being romantic' was proposing to my wife during the part of Die Hard when Bruce Willis jumps off the top of the Nakatomi Plaza high-rise with a fire hose tied around his waist just as the building explodes. Sure, she still married me, but ... well, I'm pretty sure she hates my guts for it.

But man, that part is fuckin sweeeet.

Anyway, the point is: Tom's not crazy. And in this (much-circulated) video, he PROVES it. This is his testament, his good word. This is Tom SETTING THE RECORD STRAIGHT, once and for all.

At no point does Tom ramble incoherently about absurd Scientology theories.

Nowhere in this interview does Tom claim that HE has the answers that will help all of humanity.

And not once does he laugh maniacally for extended periods of time.

Wait ... no, actually I guess he does do every single of one those things throughout the interview, but at NO POINT does Tom act crazy!

See for yourself:





(Sure it's 9 minutes, but trust me it's worth it)





"TRUE STORIES EXTRAVAGANZA BONUS CLIP OF THE WEEK!!!"


TOP FUN BONUS video:




What gets me about this part is that Tom/Maverick is SOOO bummed to leave this game to go have sex with Kelley McGillis. He's like, "Awww, man. I gotta go have sex with Kelley McGillis. This fuckin blows!" He could have EASILY played a 7-Game Series with those sweaty Naval pilots and listened to Kenny Loggins jam the fuck out of "Playin With The Boys" all day long --- And who could blame him??

(whispering)

"Talk to me Goose."
-Maverick