DEEP-VOICED MEN HAVE MORE BABIES

Yeah, that headline sounded odd to me, too -- but it's true. Why? Because it's on MSN News, that's why!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20959452/from/RS.2/

Actually, I've been aware of this little fact for quite some time now. You see, I was born with a voice that tends to be a nasaly ... and at times it can get a bit high-pitched. Yeah, I know -- what a homo, right?

But you see, I didn't let my debilitating vocal chord tone ailment get in the way of living a happy and successful life. I didn't let my pussy-voice bring me down. No way! Instead, I faked it! That's right -- I faked a deep voice for the last 8 years of my life, and it couldn't have worked out any better.

I faked it all through college, and I made lots & lots of friends -- many of which I'm sure would never have even talked to me if I didn't have such a cool-sounding voice. And with all those friends came a bunch of cool nicknames, like: "Deepy", "Bass Guy", "Man Voice", and "Low Voice Dude."

MAN, I miss college.

But it didn't stop there: I even faked it when I met my girlfriend there. I faked it all throughout our courtship, I faked it when I married her, and even now, I STILL fake it -- when I'm yelling at all SEVEN of our kids!

DEEP VOICE = LOTS OF KIDS

Sounds like success to me!

Wanna know how I did it? Here's how:

1. Talk in a really deep voice
2. Do this all the time so people don't know you're faking it
3. Never talk in a high voice (unless you're a girl)

And that's it -- nothing else to it!

Sure you'll be deceiving everyone around you, including yourself, and you're parents will think you've hit a THIRD growth spurt at the age of 27, but SO WHAT!

You'll have tons and tons of BABIES!

And you'll be happy, just like me.