"What's Beef?"

"Beef is when you need two gats to go to sleep
Beef is when your moms ain't safe up in the streets
Beef is when I see you
Guaranteed to be an ICU..."

Today, I quote these wise words of the late Notorious B.I.G. for a very simple reason: because somebody GOT BEEF.

Who, you ask? Who's got beef? Well, I'll tell you who: fuckin RALPH MACCHIO, that's who. Ralph Macchio has BEEF (and rightfully so) with some guys in "Hollywood" because they RIPPED HIM OFF.

Check this out to see what I mean:


It's like everything that he and 'Pat' Norita (aka"Mr. Miyagi") ever worked for is gone. Insulted. Disgraced. All because some assholes over in "Hollywood" said, 'Hey man -- let's JACK the entire plot from The Karate Kid and make millions of dollars!!" And then his buddy, who I'm sure was fucked-up on coke, said, "Yeah, bro -- and instead of 'karate' , we'll use Mixed Martial Arts!" and then his partner says, "... Sweet! And we should totally replace the wisdom and sentiment of Mr. Miyagi with the stoic demeanor of the black dude from Blood Diamond! He's fuckin tuff bro!!"

And so: four 8-balls, 2 cases of room-temperature Red Bull, and a really kick-ass Nickelback/Creed/Papa Roach mix CD later ----- this crap-bath of a movie was born.

And that's when things got crazy.

Word on the street is that when Macchio saw the trailer (at the Rambo screening), he was super fucking pissed. Less than a week later, he was quoted in "The Source" magazine as saying:

"Yo, I got drama wit anyone affiliated with that bullshit Never Back Down. For real, I see anyone on the street, representin' that movie, wearin a Never Back Down t-shirt, whatever -- they gettin clapped up. Word is bond."

Word is bond indeed.

So what came of the incident? Well, it's funny you should ask. See, actually I had to fly out to L.A. last week to meet up with some dude named Judd Apatow (not sure who he was, but he bought like 4 of my scripts. Anyway, that's another matter). So anyway, afterwards I'm at a swanky L.A. bar, checkin out all the primo trim -- when who should walk in? The entire cast of guys from Never Back Down, dressed to the nines in crisply-starched MMA pants and sporting fingerless gloves. I knew things were about to get hairy. Macchio, meanwhile, is up on-stage finishing up yet another badass Delta blues slide-guitar solo ... when they caught his eye.

So Macchio leaps from the stage and starts sprinting toward his rivals, his crew right behind him. Now it was difficult to see what exactly happened or what was said, but words were definitely exchanged, followed by a few karate blows and some gunshots ... and when the smoke cleared, nearly half of the Never Back Down guys lay on the ground. And the whole time Macchio keeps screaming, "I'm a soldier! I'm a fuckin soldier!" while his crew is trying to pull him out the back door, the police sirens screaming in the near distance.

Bottom line: you don't FUCK with Ralph Macchio. Ever.

The funniest part of all this is that the whole thing could've easily been avoided. If these Nu-school a-holes had just paid a bit of homage to what Mr. Macchio had created, if perhaps the smallest amount of respect had been shown -- then maybe Hollywood's most dangerous man wouldn't have gotten so angry.

Point is, you don't just go and plagiarize an original idea like that. I mean, a story about a guy with a million-to-one shot to be the best who has to fight for the love of a woman all while being trained by an eccentric & wise elderly man? Clearly an original idea. You just don't go and steal something like that!!

Seriously, what's next -- someone ripping off he entire plot from Rocky? I guess only time will tell.